Doctor Who - The Error of Erato (Novelisation)

DOCTOR WHO

THE ERROR OF ERATO

WRITTEN BY SAM LLOYD
FROM A STORY BY JAY SMIFF

On a cold winter’s night in Wales, the TARDIS landed in a flash of arrows, which really was quit strange. Out of the door stepped a man who looked to be in his fifties, but was actually thousands of years old, but he would be about 1,200 if Moffat hadn’t screwed everything up by shoving Trenzalore in the middle.
                “Oh, where are we? I wonder where we are,” exclaimed the newly regenerated Doctor, because he didn’t know where he was. Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming sense of danger from this place of mystery, that totally wasn’t added as a result of the desire to not include Clara in this story. “Clara, stay in the TARDIS,” The Doctor called out to his companion, Clara the Impossible Girl, because he wanted her to stay in the TARDIS.
                As the Doctor began to walk off in search of exciting new wonders from the land of Jay’s desk- I mean Wales, he felt an overwhelming sense of evil, and it wasn’t Ra-Ra- again. He almost felt like he was being controlled by an external force, maybe a giant hand of some amateur filmmaker trying to take the mickey out of below average action figure adventures. Alas, the Doctor let the feeling pass, and continued walking down the road in a peculiar fashion similar to jumping at a fast pace.
                As the Doctor turned the next corner, he was given a surprise he would never forget. “Oh no, it can’t be! It’s you!” he shouted, as through the mist, he caught the sight of an old enemy from long ago; perhaps the Androids of Tara, or the Ark of Infinity. No: it was Erato, from The Creature of the Pit, 1979 (fan service,) and definitely not a carpet. The creature approached the Doctor, and began to bellow as it faced its old foe once more. The Doctor began to jump up and down in shock, creating loud banging sounds as if from a wooden desk below.

                In a moment of pure inspiration, the Doctor had his greatest idea yet; he knew how to stop Erato this time. Bravely advancing towards the beast, he raised his arm and boldly stated: “Don’t worry, I shall save the day!” Using all his might, he curved his mouth into the perfectly optimized shape to create the sound of his sonic screwdriver, which did not come with him in the set, which was quite annoying (thanks a bunch Character.) However, seeing as sonic equals sound, Erato just couldn’t take it. Like a wounded elephant, it staggered backwards, wailing into the mist. The Doctor was sure that it must have been dead.

                “Hooray,” shouted the Doctor, “The day is saved! Now I must go in the TARDIS.” The Doctor did just that, noticing that the TARDIS had somehow moved to just behind where Erato was standing. It was probably Clara, being impossible and all that. Swinging open the door, the Doctor boldly marched in and set the TARDIS into ‘scream and shoot up into the air’ mode.

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